May 30 - React to this term: Letting go
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. ~Helen Keller
Letting go - the very words bring a heaviness to my heart. I am not good at letting go. I cling to the familiar and the beloved, whether it is a tradition, a period of time, a location, or a memory. I am not so much attached to objects as to experiences, and even when it is something I look forward to, such as a different summer schedule like this year where I will have more time to spend in NH it is hard for me to let go of the pattern of the past 10 summers. Once I made the decision to leave in June I immediately experienced the anxiety I get from change - but I am trying to let go of it. I am very excited to spend more time in NH especially since my own family will be there more this year, but I will still be anxious about leaving John and my garden and my NC pool days behind for so long. During the transitional times in my life - graduations, beginning new jobs, getting married, moving, I am often plagued by nightmares of "end of the world", fantastical dreams of lava spewing, earth upheaving, flooding and doom. This is how my subconscious reacts to letting go!
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? ~Leo Buscaglia
Letting go - I wish I was better at letting go of painful memories. My memory is very strong, with vivid memories even back from before I could talk. Is there a method to use to let go of the negative memories? My husband can tell you that I never forget a hurtful comment . . . and it sometimes makes me reluctant to take a chance, especially with my heart. Even memories that aren't really mine can affect me. I almost did not adopt my sweet little spitfire dog because I was afraid that looking at her cut-off ears would remind me that she had been abused and that it would be too big a burden on my heart. But the encouragement of friends and family helped me let go of that fear, and I have her here with me.
Letting go - as a teacher I have to let go of my class of children every year at this time, and send them all off to other schools. It is a good example of something that even though it can feel hard at the time is really a positive and exciting thing. At the end of the year we make little scrap books for the kids of photos and mementos and making the books gives me a chance to look back through the year with each child, and then to send them out. Maybe I can use this blog as my scrapbook, going back over the special times, and then try to mentally send myself on into the future, into the unknown, and not look back so much.
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