I have been avoiding writing this blog today because I don't want to focus my attention on what I am struggling with - I am afraid too many things might come to mind and it will be depressing!
I constantly struggle with keeping things organized and clean at home, keeping myself healthy and in shape, keeping up with the garden, and staying within our budget, not to mention struggling with the empty nest thing and getting older.
But maybe the most current struggle is that since we added a new dog to the family I am trying to train my husband. Oh I am working on training the dog of course, but right now he is the one being more stubborn and resistant to training. It's not all his fault of course, he did not grow up with dogs in his family, and probably never had an interest in training an animal. I on the other hand nearly always had a dog growing up, plus horses, including a colt I had to train. I also work with young children - very similar. The problem as I see it is that John wants Sydney to listen to him. and if she doesn't, he gets louder and angrier with her. I can't convince him that having her fear him is not the way to get the results we are after. He also doesn't seem to get the idea of positive reinforcement in the way of praise or treats. I think he thinks that it is positive enough if he doesn't raise his voice with her. It didn't help that he did not particularly like the trainer I called to work with when we first got Sydney, but she had already worked with Sydney in the shelter so I thought that would help. He also wasn't expecting her to be quite such a project; so energetic and mouthy, and curious. I have to take responsibility for that since I was the one that really choose to get her (but that face, how could I NOT??).
What I want is for John to understand that first he has to develop a rapport with her, so she trusts him, especially considering her history of being abused. Then I want him to be patient with her, and not forget that he has to act like it is a big deal when she does the right thing - comes when we call, sits for her leash, etc. Of course she is going to make mistakes but those are best ignored, and quickly move to something she can do and be rewarded for instead of yelling and scaring her. She learns so quickly when she is rewarded. No one learns when they are scared. She might learn to be afraid of him, but that is not going to work. If I could just convince him . . .
Perhaps I need to listen to myself. Hmmm. Maybe I need to think in terms of positive reinforcement for John - "good boy, you didn't yell when Sydney jumped on the sofa, here's a new golf ball for you!" or "you were so patient getting Sydney to sit - good boy John, more ______ for you!" You get the idea.
Stay tuned. I'll let you know how it goes!
I think you are on to something. Better stock up on beer and golf balls.
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