Just had my 54th birthday. Tried to skip it but it happened anyway. Birthdays don't usually bother me too much but this one did, I think because I am feeling so restricted with sciatica and it makes me feel old. Identifying getting older with being in pain and seeing the coming years as a downhill slide into feeling worse and worse does not exactly put me in a celebratory mood! So maybe I need to change my outlook. I do have things to look forward to - hopefully becoming a grandparent one of these days,
eventually having more time (and money?) to travel and garden and read, things like that. But I can't just sit around (or lie around is more like it for now - can't sit really at all with this sciatica) and wait for those days to come. So here is my list (in no particular order) of things I intend to get started on NOW-
1) Experiment with cooking new things - I enjoy cooking when I have time and am not exhausted. I know the food is better for us. Well I should have the time, just need to work on not being exhausted!
2) Spend more time interacting with my husband, not just being in the same place at the same time.
Also a side effect of not having the energy to want to go out and do things. I think I should do things
(like the Bot. Gardens social stuff, games or performances at UNC, etc.) even if I am exhausted and maybe it will turn out to be energizing.
3) Spend more time with friends even if it involves traveling and money. I would love to get out
to CO to see Jane while she is still there, and get to NH more than once this year. I would also love to get to one of Caitln's track meets this year!
4) Keep working on open water swimming - on my own or with the masters, and sign up for races.
5) Not let work take over my whole life - find a way to change gears when I get home, and do
other things. I often just eat, nap and then do more work stuff on the computer. I intend to find a way to not be so exhausted by work (sleeping and eating better? New shoes?). I want to feel more energetic, for working outside or walking the dog, or going out to something in the evening.
I feel like number 5 is really the big challenge since we have a somewhat more needy class this year than some years. But my co-teacher and I are going to need to make it more simple and streamlined, really set priorities and ditch things that are not worth the time they take. It is easy to go overboard but we must think about what the kids need most and focus on that.
I guess it all boils down to balance in my life. And that reminds me, I need to go do those exercises for stabilizing my back!
